When it comes time for a new blog I often spend a fews days pondering what to right about, whats inspiring me, or what I’ve noticed around me. This time was the same, many good ideas came up too…
It was a short, funny and interesting TedX talk called “What yoga taught me about business, bravery & bras” By Harriet Minter https://youtu.be/_NnTAlk2vdk, that sparked my inspiration to blog about Fear. About my view on Fear and how it serves me, how I deal with it and why I at times embrace it.
Fear, by definition is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
What does it mean for you though?
How does this emotion show up?
Do you react when it does show up, if so WHY?
What if you reacted differently?
As I’ve dived deeper into my own yoga practice and spent more time sitting with my emotions, the learnings of what, how and when Fear showed up for me has been very interesting. Of the many things realised in this process, one big one was how Fear would show up in many different forms…
When looking deeper into these emotions and the route cause of the feelings it soon became clear that the true feeling was FEAR.
There was fear that I was not good enough…causing doubt and sadness.
The fear of looking silly in front of other’s…bringing on anxiousness and concern.
Fear of F#&@KING up a relationship or friendship by my actions…provoking frustration and anger (at myself mostly).
So how often do we feel this way?
What is the effect of this feeling? Does it stop us doing something we may enjoy? Does it cause us to change the way we express our feelings and emotions, maybe we hold back on your point of view out of fear of offending someone?? What would happen if someone was offended??
These are all questions I’ve been asking myself for years, this little cycle of thought that I soon realised was me holding myself back.
So what changed? ME!
For me it was my view on fear and the emotions that surrounded it. The three examples above were very real for me and often lead me to doubt, sadness and frustration that soon prevented me from being true to myself. It caused me to reframe from speaking up on my opinions, it meant I would simply agree with people during debates, it meant I would not just dance around and enjoy myself when others where around.
Through my practice of yoga I found a safe place to be wth my emotions. Spending time on my mat feeling these emotions and allowing myself to experience and understand them. At first this was fearful in itself, feeling uncomfortable as waves of doubt, sadness, frustration and concern came over me. In sitting with these feelings and allowing my Monkey Mind (check out previous post, open the body and release the mind) to quieten, opened me up to seeing what lay beneath…FEAR.
When this fear was realised I was then empowered to act from the emotion and no longer act in the emotion. I was able to see if this feeling was serving me or if it was of no purpose. This empowerment of action enabled me to see what really mattered and to see what the affects of my actions would really have.
Something that really helped me was the thought, or question, “is the threat real or imagined?”
Now certainly there is fear that is a valid and real emotion, as you may be getting attacked by a Tiger or a Shark, and that would be a reason to feel fear. I would still ask you…what would happen if you came from a place of Love and loved the Tiger or Shark?? Yeah I would too say you must be a Zen master of Love and need to share that skill ;). Seriously though, do you think the tiger or shark is acting out of fear for its own life too, acting in order to survive?? Some food for thought.
Back to it, what if the fear you were experiencing was that of upsetting someone?? Is it a real fear??
Obviously going around upsetting everyone else by say anything and everything you want without concern would be irresponsible. If you are coming from a place of Love and respect, would they really be offended? Even if they are offended this is an opportunity to express your view in more detail, maybe even creating greater understanding of it within yourself.
Recently I’ve learnt that if you come from a place of love when voicing your opinion no one is offended. Certainly I’ve offended a few people at first, after a brief discussion and clarity on my point of view all was resolved.
The same feeling was experienced when taking action on things that I once feared. By simply putting myself in a positive loving state I was able to overcome the fear and take action.
So if you experience Fear, in any form, take a moment to reconnect with your heart, see the love inside you and speak or act from that space. Get comfortable with your emotions and believe that they are serving you in some way, you just have to figure out how.